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; we are both expected to mine the black holes of our psyches to write for a living; we both chose self-directed professions that mostly require discipline and determination as fuel; we both recognize “A Love Supreme” or “Satin Doll” or “Gershwin” within a couple of bars; we read philosophy; we write it; and, we definitely love pancakes with plenty of butter and syrup. After her narrative of this waste of an afternoon was over, I recalled my unfortunate episode, once colliding with a man nearly 20 years my senior who led me to believe he was only 10 years such.

We could have stayed up working all night then needed to brave the two-hour wait at IHOP on a weekend day just to refuel again. He met me shortly after my 2nd novel debuted in 2008.

” (His guy friends gave thumbs up to the hips.)But, he never perused my bookshelf to initiate conversation on one of the nearly 2,000 books I stock. He never asked to read anything I was writing on my computer, often as he sat nearby in impatience.

If I mentioned a country I had visited, he did not request to see pictures.

• Did you actually see a Black woman at work -- in her office, at a meeting, negotiating a contract, or delivering a monologue -- on any one of the sitcoms that claim to portray Black people in a more positive and progressive light?